As I Live and Breathe

Back in the “Old Days,” you know, the ‘80s, there was a hot game called “Scruples.” Groups of us would get together and while not necessarily playing would at the very least use the cards to spark discussion.

The basic premise was for a person or people to answer a particularly sticky question. Based on their answer, this could be the catalyst for conversations that many times went well into the night.

For instance, “If you knew that your best friend was fooling around with another woman, would you tell his wife?” Stuff like that.

Granted, it may seem trite to talk about what then were hypothetical situations especially when the majority of the time much of the discussion was fueled by one’s beverage of choice. However, the good that came of it was the opportunity to flex one’s brain muscles in discussing what could be the very foundations of one’s ethical and moral attitudes.

It’s a good thing too because I’ve been asked to do something that puts me in the middle of an enigma wrapped up in a conundrum.

My boss’ boss has asked me to refrain from a practice that is as natural to me as breathing. She has asked me to stop referring to her as “Ma’am.”

Now, I know, that in the grand scheme of things this simply is not that big a deal, but this has been no easy task.

Unfortunately there are no 12-step programs to break one’s Southern habits. Especially those habits that have been instilled in you since you first took the breath of life.

To her credit, my boss’ boss is not, as we say, “from here” and so doesn’t quite understand what she’s asking. However, she is the boss. I can either choose to do what she has asked or I can find another job.

But, I’ll have to admit, when she first made the request, there was no question that I would honor that request. Well, on top of being the boss, there is the other Southern habit that has been instilled in me to humbly honor the reasonable requests of others -- if for no other reason than to keep everyone comfortable.

But it’s extremely hard to do.

Try it. For one day.

Thanks to my grandmothers, my mother, my father, and everyone else in the town where I grew up, I say, “Sir,” “Ma’am,” “Please,” and “Thank You.” I’ve said these for as long as I can remember both because they show signs of respect to those around you but at the basic level I avoided discipline. Few things are as effective in discipline than a grandmother’s shame.

So I’m working on it, but I think it would have been just easier for my boss’ boss to ask me to simply stop breathing in her presence.