My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad

Inspired by the book Season of Life, my men’s group lately has been discussing what it means to be a man. What are our definitions of masculinity? How has our culture defined masculinity? How have we, as Christians, defined it?

It has made for interesting conversation and then, one day, one of the guys asked: “What do you think your dad would say if you asked him to define masculinity?”

While he may not have a by-the-book definition of masculinity, my dad has certainly shown me and told me what it means to be man through his actions and sage advice.

Here are some of my favorite pieces of advice passed along over the years by my dad:

Life’s Not Fair: This is, of course, the classic. And, to make matters worse, it is completely true. Bad things happen to good people. As my dad would say: “You can sit there and piss and moan about it or get off your ass and make something happen.”

Remember Who You Are: This is an old school interpretation of asking the progeny to maintain the stellar reputation of the family name. When you grow up in a town of 1,000 people, you definitely have to remember who you are.

Walk It Off: Yes, I grew up in a walk-it-off household. My father does not suffer whiners at all. Unless you have internal bleeding or there is a bone sticking out, you should be able to walk it off and go on about your business.

Do What You Say: This is a big one. My dad is a firm believer in a man’s word and a handshake. If you say you’re going to do something, you do it unless something dramatic happens – like death, for example.

Wear A Condom: I was about 13 years old. We were out in the dove field and as I was standing up to take aim at a bird, my dad said: “Son, if you decide to have sex, wear a condom.” I nearly blew my foot off. And we’ve never spoken about sex since.

Finish What You Start: This kind of goes hand in hand with Do What You Say but it can be boiled down to: You don’t quit. I’ve broken this rule more than once in my life and have lived to regret it most times.

Work Hard: My dad is a good Calvinistic Presbyterian. He loves to have a good time but when it’s time to work, it’s time to work. He has no patience for loafers or, as he puts it, “people who are eaten up with a bad case of the L.A.Z.Y.”

Do Your Best: If you’re going to do something, do it right. In essence this is the flip side to “don’t do anything half-assed.”

Bonus Sayings: Absolutely two of my all time favorite sayings of my dad are designed to indicate that there are some people who are just too lucky for their own good: “I cannot believe that. Those fellas were born with horseshoes stuck up their ass.” Or “Dang. That guy is luckier than a cat with two peckers.”

And here’s the thing. . .while my dad never sat me down and said, “Son, here is what it means to be a man,” the advice he gave me has allowed me to grow into the husband, father and man that I am today. And for that I am indeed extremely blessed and grateful.

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