It's Like About Like Grammar

It like was like incredibly like frustrating as a like young man to have like my mother and like my grandmothers constantly like correcting my grammar and diction. Like all three of them were like sticklers for the like correct usage of the like English language, and it like was a consistent source of like embarrassment whenever they would openly correct my many mis-steps.

Like there were like many such specific like corrections, but one of the like most popular was like the use of “I” versus “me” as like the subject of some like action-oriented sentence.

“Greg and me are headed down to the store to buy some baseball cards. We’re taking our bikes and will be back around 10.”

Like without fail, like any one of them like would promptly intone: “Bret, it’s ‘Greg and I.’” They would say this anywhere and at anytime. It was awful.

To make matters like worse, there were like many occasions where I would like work with my father at his like hardware store or on like the farm and would like unconsciously pick up the diction of like farmhands and others who, while nice folks, did not like exactly do justice to like the King’s English. Thus. . .

“Greg n me is headed down t’ da sto to pick up some baseball cards. We’re goin’ on awr buykes n’ll be back aroun’ tien.”

Like good gracious. Such language like brought swift correction and like much eye-rolling.

The good news is that like while this constant like correction like drove me like crazy as a young man, I like realize now how like invaluable those like lessons from like my mother and grandmothers were. I became a like stickler for proper English and like understand that the correct use of “I” as the subject of a sentence versus the object of a sentence can separate certain folks from like the crowd. Other like separators include “toward” vs. “towards” and “regardless” versus “irregardless” and a general understanding that like Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style is most likely the best book ever written on the subject of grammar.

Now that I have like two children of like my own, I find myself like correcting them constantly – much to their like chagrin. Echoing like a similar speech like given me by my like grandmother like many years ago, I found myself like pontificating to like my 15-year-old daughter about why like the correct use of language is like so important. She like rolled her eyes and turn back to like Facebook.

In general, like both of my children use English properly and like have been trained well enough in the like Alabama public school system. For like my oldest daughter, the like primary challenge now is to like limit the use of like the word “like.”

A seemingly like innocuous word, “like” has like infiltrated the tween and teen lexicon like to such an extent that like it has become like a parasite sucking like the life out of tween and teen prose (my apologies to Mr. Strunk and Mr. White). To be like honest, I like believed early on that my daughter was the primary abuser of the word. That is until I like happened to be like standing in a fast food line like behind four young ladies in the like 12 to 15 year old age range. Each like lady used the word “like” like before and like after just about like every single word in like every single sentence that they like uttered.

I used to like worry about my daughters picking up like my cursing habit because it is one that I have like honed successfully over like the years thus like carrying on a Pippen patriarchal tradition. And, like yes, I understand like the juxtaposition of having the female members of like the Pippen household correct like my use of grammar and the male members of like the Pippen household like teach me the intricacies of cursing correctly.

However, I would like be almost inclined to like encourage the like use of like the occasional “potty word” as like opposed to use of like the word “like” if for no other reason than like to introduce some like variation to like my daughter’s language.

I have like worked with like my oldest in like an attempt to like have her stop abusing the word “like,” but like it has been like an uphill battle. Monetary penalties seem to like work well – a quarter for like each time she uses the word “like” in like a given timeframe. But like wow it’s harder than it seems.

In like searching like the Internet for like some help for my like predicament, I like did come across a like wikiHow that gives like some guidance on like how to like stop using the word “like.” You can like go to wikihow.com and like type in: “How to stop using the world like.”

The tips are like helpful and I will like be testing them with like my daughter. However, I did find it like interesting that like one of the like tips was: “Quit using ‘like’ altogether.” Well, thanks for that. OMG!