Notes Along the Father-Daughter Continuum: "Responsibilitum in Absentia"

After living with two young members of the female species for 11 and 15 years respectively, it has not escape my notice nor the notice of others that I find myself being slowly drawn into their community. This is, of course, not entirely unexpected but is not particularly helpful when it comes to noting and cataloging their behavior.

Many of their rituals continue to be foreign to me but over this span of time, I have begun to gain some hint of understanding that has led me to this place. In effect, I have found myself being drawn inexorably into the darkness that is female tween and teen. The darkness is so pervasive that it becomes nigh impossible to see one’s hand before one’s face. Then, in a moment of enlightenment, this darkness is punctuated by the light of understanding.

One such epiphanous moment has occurred most recently and can best be described as “Responsibilitum in Absentia” or “absence of any and all responsibility.” This is a curious defect with obvious symptoms, but it is hard to determine when it begins. Based on my own observations, it appears to begin around age 10 or 11. And its appearance, while no doubt is gradual, becomes apparent to the casual observer rather immediately.

This malady is quite apparent in the older member of the two young females that I am observing. So much so that there is a clear understanding that most, if not all, of the occurrences in her sphere of influence are the result of some outside intervention – either natural or super-natural.

The most recent example of this phenomenon involves her academic life, an area in which she actually excels. However, when the occasional poor score does occur, the phrase “It’s not my fault” is repeated to such a degree that one must wonder if its repetition is needed to convince the speaker of its validity.

When questioned regarding “fault” for the poor score, answers range from “the test was too hard” to “the teacher didn’t explain things well” to the fairly popular refrain of: “I don’t know. All I know is that it is not my fault.”

Another recent example involving the youngest of the two females involved the sudden super-natural destruction of a pair of swimming goggles. My only role in this was as the purchaser of said goggles. After that no one else, other than the youngest female, came into contact with said goggles.

When the time came for everyone to retire to the indoor swimming area for fun and relaxation, the goggles were nowhere to be found. When questioned about the goggles, the youngest identified their location as “in the drawer.” When pressed for more details, she responded with disgust that they had been broken but that “it wasn’t her fault.”

Both parental units pointed out to their youngest daughter that she was clearly the only person to have handled or manipulated the goggles since their purchase a scant few hours earlier. To which she responded with antagonism, surliness and generalized anger. However, fault lay elsewhere – no doubt attributed to some heretofore unidentified super-natural event.

Many more examples of “Responsibilitum in Absentia” could be outlined here but there is neither the time nor space available for such a vast cataloging of observations. Suffice to say that this observer will continue chronicling his findings. Respectfully submitted. . .